If I knew then, what I know now… is the topic for the LVS On-line Blog Carnival. There are always some things a person would like to change in their life. Sometimes you still can change the path you’re on, other times you can only move forward onto a different path.

When I saw the topic for the Blog Carnival a couple of things that I might have done differently in life came to mind.

First of all I would have gone to vet school instead of nursing school It is too hard to go back now after all these years as a nurse (33), being towards the top of the pay range, having seniority and established bills that need to be paid. I tried at one point — started taking some classes that I would need in addition to those I was given credit for from my BSN — but with a young daughter, debts, a job, and pending back surgery it just didn’t feel right. I’m okay with my chosen profession but I know I would have also loved being a vet and if I had another chance I wouldn’t let people talk me out of it.

The second thing that comes to mind as something I might have done differently had I known what was ahead was adopting our daughter. We do love her, but as a special needs child and now a special needs adult we will always be responsible for her which continues to put stress on my husband and I. I truly had no idea what was involved raising a special needs child. I would have talked to parents of special needs kids and adults and found out more about what we were getting in to. I never thought ahead to what would happen once she was grown up or that we might always be responsible for her. I didn’t realize we would have to be much more involved in her adult life than an average parent would be for their child once they were old enough to move out. I also did not anticipate the economy worsening causing budget cuts which have affected the hours staff can help with her needs, the job support she receives and the cuts to all of the programs she needs to enable her to live as independently as possible. Some will say I am horrible for thinking/writing this but I sometimes wonder if it might have been better to be childless. I remain committed to making sure she gets what she needs but sometimes this is a path it would be nice to jump off of!

Other things I wish I had known to do “then”:
When my grandparents were still alive I wish I had written down some of their stories about family and life when they were younger.
I wish I had labeled old photos with dates and names/places.
I wish I had made some different financial decisions.
And finally, I should have thrown out boxes and boxes of stuff when we moved 4 years ago; stuff that now sits in the garage. THAT is a path I can still change so once the weather warms up spring cleaning the garage is in our future!

My beautiful first champion Labrador Retriever and foundation of my breeding program, Champion Honorbright Legend of DMarsh TD, JH, RN, WC (Nessie to her friends) turned 14 years old today. She is the queen of the house and still very dignified. She does not have any major health problems — okay an accident in the kitchen on a day I am gone to work all day at times but that is very forgiveable. I think she enjoys her near deafness. She is also trained on hand signals as are most of my dogs but she chooses to ignore them when it is convenient. As she mosies off to sniff something else in the yard she conveniently looks away as I signal her to come! I am so happy to still have her with us.

Finally it is March and the light at the end of the long winter tunnel…….I was still suffering from “post traumatic stress” from last winter when the first winter storm arrived in November so this winter has seemed to go on forever but it’s March and that means SPRING!! The temperature doesn’t say “spring” this weekend with highs way below normal but at least it is light longer and the view isn’t all snow. The barnyard/outside agility area is a skating ring though courtesy of rain, melting snow then below freezing temps a couple of days ago so hard to picture the equipment up and classes running yet despite the inquiries.

The donkeys would not leave the barn the morning after the rain turned to ice. They are cautious and smart enough to know it is dangerous. It took Kent almost a half hour to convince them to go into a pasture and it wasn’t the one he wanted them to go into! Even the horses are treading quite carefully on the ice which I’m glad to see.

But it’s March so we can hopefully look forward to some better weather. In the meantime I’m going to Disneyland (World) and hoping when I get back winter will have left Wisconsin. In the meantime I plan to soak up enough Florida sun to last me until May!!!

When I last posted I was about to go on a quilter’s retreat for the weekend with the UFO club. Our annual retreat is called “Swiss Finishing School” as the retreat is held in a small town nicknamed “Little Switzerland” and everyone tries to finish up a project or two while there.

The slogan of the UFO Club is “Done is good.” I accomplished a lot this year finishing one quilt that was close to being done when I got there as well as finishing piecing a quilt top that I started over 10 years ago (the Bear Paws Quilt below). Others attending had similar successes.

Several of us went on a “field trip” to a quilt store a few miles away and with the help of others we picked out fabric to finish more of our UFO’s (UnFinished Objects) or our PhDs (Project’s Half Done). It always helps to have the input of others to help inspire us to finish projects we have started.

Here are photos from this year’s Swiss Finishing School. I can’t wait until next year’s but at least I have some inspiration to keep working on some current projects now.

After last winter I didn’t think it could get any worse. In fact I told people when the first snow fall hit here in Nov. that I was suffering from PTD from last year still. 100 plus inches of snow last year is being topped this year as we already have over 50 (season average is 49) and more coming tonight and next week.  Even more challenging is the extreme cold we are having this week.  It was minus 21 degree last night and at 11 a.m. it is still only minus 8 degrees.

Having dogs in this weather is enough of a challenge (don’t worry, they all live in the house and several have coats they wear when they go outside) — they barely want to go outside to pee so are definitely not getting the exercise they are used to.  They walk a bit then hold their feet up pitifully.  The pugs all huddle against the door a minute after they’ve gone out.  Then add in the horses and donkeys and we can’t escape being outside in these sub zero temperatures.

Yesterday the high didn’t get out of the minus digits.  All the area schools were closed yesterday due to wind chill warnings of up to 40 below zero and they are closed again today although winds are pretty calm.   Kent bought he and I face masks at the UW Bookstore yesterday (his office is right above it) which I can see will be helpful as I just used mine for the first time while I did barn chores.

The horses and mini donkeys are used to going out every day, rain or shine.  They have 3 sided shelters for when they are out but with these extreme temperatures and wind chills they could easily suffer frost bite, especially those donkey ears.  I have seen donkeys who have had their ears frostbitten and lost part of them so it won’t be happening to mine.  So they are getting a bit stir crazy as this is day 4 of these temps.  Yesterday I turned the horses out briefly when the temp almost made zero and it was at least sunny out.  They went crazy running, rearing, bucking and actually didn’t want to come in so I left them out for 2 hours.  This a.m. they made it out for about 10 min. while I cleaned their stalls, took a couple of laps and were ready to come back in.  The donkeys are divas and if you turn them out they usually stand by the barn door and bray to come in when it is like this outside so they pretty much have been captive in the barn since Monday and it’s Friday now.

We also have 2 barn cats, Gadget and Beauty, who I have been watching carefully for any signs of being chilled.  All the barn animals have heated buckets/bowls for water and we keep a lot of food out at all times when it is like this as digestion produces body heat.  Gadget and Beauty have blankets to lay on and often are laying in the barn window in the sun.  They have the most gorgeous, plush coats right now so they seem just fine although we have a contingency plan of bringing them into our basement should they seem to be suffering from the cold at all.

On 8/8/08 Turbo left for his new life as a dog angel.  His pain had become uncontrollable and I knew it was time to say good-bye.  I hate having to make those type of vet appointments and I’m sure the vet clinic dreads them, too.  You start looking at the clock and thinking “in 8 hours you will be gone”, ”in 2 hours you will be gone”, etc. when you look at your furry friend and it is almost unbearable.  As always, Stoughton Vet staff were very compassionate and had a nice soft afghan laid out for him to lay on when we got there.  I took his Lab daughter (he always treated her like a daughter, loved to groom her, play with her) Jazz with to keep him and I company.  I wanted Jazz to see where he went, too and I think it helped him get in the car for his last ride.  20 seconds later he was already gone……my vet said he was ready.

This a.m. I woke up to the sound of a lone Sand Hill crane flying by my bedroom window.  I’m glad to know Turbo is at peace and doing okay.  I like to think Lily, our precious pug, met him as he crossed over.

Obviously we’ve been busy since I haven’t found time to post! (see our news and brags page for some of what we’ve been up to) The WI weather has not been optimal this spring/summer. We have been inundated by rain and there are still roads closed due to flooding/bridges out, etc. — great reason for owning a GPS as sometimes you come upon barricades and have no idea which way to go to get where you are going!

We had a lot of tree damage here and a bit of water in the basement on the worst day which had 6 storms one right after another and two funnel clouds out by our place. Thanks to some wonderful friends we finally got all the downed branches cleaned up, chopped up and off the lawn and fences. Kent almost has the fences mended as well. As we say, “never a dull moment” out here.

Til next time…….

 I have come to believe that when a being leaves our earth they leave
an energy behind or visit us in some way that sometimes we are lucky enough to feel. 

Years ago we fostered a wonderful elderly pug named Max after his owner passed away and the owner’s elderly friend could no longer care for him.  Max was already about 12 years old so we knew we would have him  for the rest of his days on earth as no one would want to adopt a dog of that age.  He was a dignified, sweet Pug who remained a bit aloof from our other dogs.  After we had Max about 6 weeks he became ill and was diagnosed with pneumonia.  Despite treatment he did not improve and on an x-ray was diagnosed with a tumor around his heart.  We sadly let Max go.  We knew it was time for him to go find his real owner — we had only had him on loan until he was ready to go.  That afternoon after he left this earth I took one of my Labs tracking.  As I pulled into the parking lot where my track was laid it began raining.  “Great” I thought, “just how my day is going”…….and then I looked up at the sky and this beautiful rainbow suddenly appeared.   I realized it was Max saying good-bye and telling me he was reunited with his precious owner.  Through my tears I also felt a sense of peace.

 Then when Lily suddenly died 2 years ago,  the next a.m. I went outside and 7 sand hill cranes suddenly landed on the hillside near our house.  We had never seen sand hlls there although we’ve heard them on occasion in the woods about a half mile away.  They have never landed on that hillside since.  I feel they were sent by Lily to check up on me.  Everytime I hear a sand hill crane now I feel Lily has been here to check on me and send me her love. 

 Fast forward to March 16th, 2008.  As I wrote previously my good friend, Karen, passed away that day.  Sunday a.m. when I got up the first thought I had was of Karen as I knew she wasn’t doing well and her time to leave was near.  It was a spring-like day so after I let my horses out I just stood in the sun watching them and thinking about her and her family.  A huge flock of geese flew over and then I heard sand hill cranes and knew in my heart she was gone.  The next day,  I was walking back to work by Hilldale Mall in Madison when 2 sand hill cranes flew over (I have two co-workers as witnesses).  Very unusual to hear sand hills in the city and this has never happened there before — I believe it was Karen’s energy in the area making sure her family is okay.

Two days ago a friend of mine passed away from cancer. It is such a nasty disease — it seems to always win in the end…….I first met Karen about 18 years ago when I was showing my Lab, Reilly, in obedience and she was showing her Flat-coated Retriever Sadie in the same classes. I believe we first started talking on an out of sight stay and kept running into each other at obedience trials. Both our dogs and us became friends. In fact Reilly became madly in love with Sadie (he was neutered so no danger of “Flatadors” there). When they were together they ran around and played but he also flirted with her. She was the only dog he ever flirted with his entire life although when he met her daughter he tried to flirt with her until he realized it wasn’t Sadie!

Karen gave a lot back to the sport of obedience and taught some wonderful classes at our kennel club including a much in demand “attention” class. She also got involved in tracking, hunt tests and agility and she and I traveled to some events together. Even when her cancer reoccurred she remained cheerful and optimistic. In fact I still thought she would beat this round of cancer but realized about 2 weeks ago it wasn’t going to happen. On Friday, after a rally obedience trial, a little voice in my head said to call her house and see how she was doing. I spoke with her daughter who was here helping care for her and realized time was short. Fortunately they said I could come visit.

Even though I realized she was dying it wasn’t easy to see her in so much pain. I won’t go into all the details of our visit but I learned something by going — if you have a friend who is terminally ill, go see them NOW. Tell them what their friendship means to you, if you love them tell them so, give them a hug, say your good byes. You will be glad you did. I know I am.

On top of that, today is the 2 year anniversary of my precious Lily’s unexpected death. They say time heals everything but apparently in some cases it takes much more time than others. There isn’t a day I don’t think of her at least once. Her photos, leash and collar and ashes are right by me here on my desk. I just haven’t been able to move them yet. Her daughters Sprout and Sprite are here as a reminder of her but they aren’t her or much like her. I have a tribute to Lily on my web page and a link to a story about her here: www.dunnsmarshlabs.com/lasttunnel.html

So today I am missing my friend, Karen and my precious gift from God, Lily. I love you both and will never forget either of you.

Reilly, age 14. 

What do Halloween and Heart Dogs have in common?  A little after midnight 19 years ago our Lab, Chessie, began having puppies.  When all was said and done there were 12 black lab puppies in the whelping box.  As the puppies grew one kept catching our eye.  He just seemed a bit different than the rest, even his black color was not the same raven black, he was more a chocolate black.  Of course you have figured out we ended up keeping him and his name became Reilly, more specifically he was “Chessie’s Life O’Reilly”. 

 Reilly wasn’t the most classic looking Labrador but he added a lot of titles to his name in obedience and agility.  Most important he was my “co-pilot” almost any time I went anywhere in the car except to work.  He and I literally travelled all over the country competing at Labrador Specialties (several nationals) and all breed shows. He was so well behaved he was welcomed anywhere we went.  One year he and I flew to California to the National and then stayed an extra week with friends.   When we flew back in late October it was 80 when we left San Francisco and it was snowing hard when we landed in Milwaukee.  I was a bit concerned about how he did on the flight as he was 9 years old and the last part of the flight was turbulent due to the storm.  As I exited the plane, the pilot said “I know your dog is fine, I heard him barking down in the baggage compartment for the last part of the flight”, a relief to me.

I’ve had other Labs before, during and after Reilly but he was the one in a million, my “heart dog” and I will never forget him.  Happy Birthday, Ri Ri, as always I’m thinking of you today. 

U-CD, U-AGII Chessie’s Life O’Reilly UD, NA, 10/31/88 to 12/16/03.