If I knew then, what I know now… is the topic for the LVS On-line Blog Carnival. There are always some things a person would like to change in their life. Sometimes you still can change the path you’re on, other times you can only move forward onto a different path.

When I saw the topic for the Blog Carnival a couple of things that I might have done differently in life came to mind.

First of all I would have gone to vet school instead of nursing school It is too hard to go back now after all these years as a nurse (33), being towards the top of the pay range, having seniority and established bills that need to be paid. I tried at one point — started taking some classes that I would need in addition to those I was given credit for from my BSN — but with a young daughter, debts, a job, and pending back surgery it just didn’t feel right. I’m okay with my chosen profession but I know I would have also loved being a vet and if I had another chance I wouldn’t let people talk me out of it.

The second thing that comes to mind as something I might have done differently had I known what was ahead was adopting our daughter. We do love her, but as a special needs child and now a special needs adult we will always be responsible for her which continues to put stress on my husband and I. I truly had no idea what was involved raising a special needs child. I would have talked to parents of special needs kids and adults and found out more about what we were getting in to. I never thought ahead to what would happen once she was grown up or that we might always be responsible for her. I didn’t realize we would have to be much more involved in her adult life than an average parent would be for their child once they were old enough to move out. I also did not anticipate the economy worsening causing budget cuts which have affected the hours staff can help with her needs, the job support she receives and the cuts to all of the programs she needs to enable her to live as independently as possible. Some will say I am horrible for thinking/writing this but I sometimes wonder if it might have been better to be childless. I remain committed to making sure she gets what she needs but sometimes this is a path it would be nice to jump off of!

Other things I wish I had known to do “then”:
When my grandparents were still alive I wish I had written down some of their stories about family and life when they were younger.
I wish I had labeled old photos with dates and names/places.
I wish I had made some different financial decisions.
And finally, I should have thrown out boxes and boxes of stuff when we moved 4 years ago; stuff that now sits in the garage. THAT is a path I can still change so once the weather warms up spring cleaning the garage is in our future!