Today is the 3rd year anniversary of one of the hardest days of my life — the day we unexpectedly had to say good-bye to our first pug, Lily. At age 6 she suddenly developed tracheal collapse, a condtion we had never seen a symptom of until 2 days before her death.

I wrote this story about my Lily in my grief after her death.
The pain of the loss is a bit better now and I can say her name without tears but her ashes, leash, collar and photos have stayed right here next to me on my desk for the last 3 years. I have decided it is time to put them with the other precious dogs’ who have passed on yet my hands can’t seem to lift them to move them……

Lily left us two gifts behind — her daughters Sprout and Sprite (also known as “the Ink Spots”) and later sent me Buster, our rescue pug, to comfort me. Buster is nothing like Lily except in one important way — he knows exactly where to cuddle up with me at night and positions himself in almost the same spot as Lily did against my body. Had Lily not passed on maybe Buster would have not found a new home at least certainly with us. I can picture Lily nudging the person who e-mailed me Buster’s posting on Craig’s list a few months later and nudging the former “owner” to call me after he read my reply to his ad. I think Lily then visited Buster and said “this is what you need to do to help my mom”. Buster has some baggage but he has grown on me. I still miss my Lily though and always will. The special ones leave a very large hole that can never be totally filled. I would never have missed out on those 6 years with her no matter how much pain it caused me to lose her. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to move those ashes, maybe not…..